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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

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It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.