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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

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But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.