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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

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As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

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The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.