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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

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