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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

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Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.