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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

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