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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.