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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.