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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.