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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

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Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.