Messages of support

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.